Money Money Money!

Yo!

Well, I'm pretty damn pleased with myself. Found one of those undated British 20p coins which people are selling on eBay. I've put it up for sale but god it took so long! I now have a new found hatred for eBay, because they want to know EVERYTHING about you! You're favourite colour, if you have any allergies.... they even telephone you at home to make sure you are who you say you are! Then I got annoyed because it wouldn't let me bypass this part, and I found myself shouting at my laptop, "What if I was deaf? What if I was deaf eBay?!" As you can see, things got a little out of hand. It should all be worth it though when some millionaire with more money than sense decides to pay £3mil for my coin.... a girl can dream. I shall then find out where he lives and pay him a visit to see if he wants to take me on holiday. ;)

Oh, and about thirty minutes after finding the coin, I found £5 on the floor. Which to me, is hitting the jackpot. I took it as a sign from God. I think he was saying "Don't worry Rach, I know you can't find a better job at the minute, so some rich bastard is gonna buy this from you, and here's a fiver, get yourself a coffee." I think its pretty obvious that's exactly what he was saying to me.

But now that I'm on eBay, I'm seeing loads of things that I want to buy! A retro military style jacket here, some Chanel sunglasses there.... must remember to use my coin money for bills and rent, rather than buying sexy clothes! I particularly like the German eBay.... everything is so tacky and fun! Although they sell a lot of sex toys and some of them look quite scary.

Anyway, I'm currently eating the rest of a box of chocolates from my birthday.... I'm feeling quite guilty actually because haven't been for a jog in two days.... damn my shitty willpower!

I'm off now.... should hopefully be VERY rich by my next blog =D x

ps. Did I mention I'm selling a very **RARE** coin on Ebay?
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=170357955369&_trkparms=tab%3DSelling

My Twisted Ideas

Today is going to be my day to get things done. Although, its 12.30 and I'm still in my jogging gear (that's right, I've ventured back outside!) and am thinking about having breakfast.... but I'm sure this afternoon shall be much more productive!

Mark has sent me on some errands in town with regards to our new flat. He wants me to fill in some paperwork and price things for our kitchen... I think he's more excited than I am. Bless =)

Anyway, yes. I'm still writing. Though I understand that from you're point of view it isn't very interesting if I can't tell you any details of what it's about. I'll give you this much (@incroyable may kill me for telling), the first episode consists of an adult circus, containing an S and M act, pole dancing, acrobatic grannies and suicidal clowns. I'm not quite sure which deep, dark part of my mind these ideas came from. I must say, I'm very excited about writing the dialogue! Thinking of disturbing puns as I type.

Also still watching comedy clips as "research" which I LOVE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvTgvEzpSzQ&NR=1

Anyway, must dash, the cat is attacking my foot =p

All of the Boys and all of the Girls are Begging to SLAP Britney

Currently working on episode one of our series (which still doesn't have a name). The storyline has changed so much in the space of such a small amount of time. Oh well, we were killing ourselves laughing about it today so I'm fairly optimistic.

Listening to Britney while I work, and I'm not quite sure why. Perhaps it's because I hate that trashy little chav so much! I guess the irritating drone of her voice must provoke some sort of emotion from me, which is good for writing. I honestly don't know anyone who actually likes that woman. How clever does she think she is with that "cryptic" song title, If You Seek Amy? I'm guessing that's the most intelligent bloody thing she's done in her life and it's still fairly obvious what she's saying, she doesn't even sing it as the proper title, if she did, at least the meaning would be more hidden, making her the only person who understood and therefore making it more clever. I'm ranting now, but I know what I'm trying to say. She's a hag.

Also been distracted by Katie and Peter on Itv. I won't go into detail about this or I'll end up having some sort of stroke. But I hate that woman!

One more complaint then I shall get back to writing. Bloody Michael Jackson's bloody funeral. Yes, he's dead. Did you know him? No. Did you like him as a person? No. Will his songs be around after his death? Yes. So jump back off the bandwagon before you lose the little self respect you have left.


Oooh, what an angry blog post!
Am off to calm down and continue writing. Best turn off Britney.
x

ps. If this isn't scraping the barrell I don't know what is.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1197780/Ghost-Michael-Jackson-caught-camera-pacing-corridors-Neverland.html

I'm Such a Comedy Geek

So, I haven't blogged in a few days. I feel like I should have lots of sensational stories to tell....

I bought my Mammy a kitten for her birthday! He was bloody expensive I'll tell you that (luckily she doesn't read this). He's so cute tho, and CRAZY! I was supposed to be looking after him today, but was too busy messing around with my laptop and so when I looked up he was halfway up her new curtains and chewing the crap out of them. Oh well, they aren't MY curtains....

I'm still writing, and I'm so excited! My new comedy series (remember, I don't like the word sit-com) has become an obsession. Along with Twitter.

I was just talking (or tweeting?) to @DannyDutch about how we spend too much time on there and how we all seem to talk about.... nothing (or "Arse" in his words). We were saying there should be a Tweeps Anonymous where you can go to talk about your addiction. I now say "@ so and so" when talking to people, and Dan can only hold a conversation for 140 characters. What is HAPPENING to us?? I can literally only ever think of ten topics to talk about and I speak in text language. Perhaps the NHS should open a help line.

I now must watch comedy clips on YouTube as "research". Yeah right! It's called, being lazy and trying to figure out how to pass off other people's jokes as your own. I have found some great clips so far, here are a few:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQAihUx0ZM4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu9TsJlcvzc&feature=fvst

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beN7FftWNCM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k7U-_tJVmw&feature=PlayList&p=6014B69E9E78ACE8&index=0&playnext=1


Toodles x

My Birthday - Act 2

Well! Yesterday was lovely. Sort of one of those, good clean fun, type of days. Relaxed afternoon with my Aunt and then had the rest of the family over on the night. Pretty incident-free and also alcohol free (I know! Well done me!).

My cake had a photo of me on, which they do every year. A while back I won a competition to have my photo taken professionally, so they used one of those. I was sitting with my sister complaining that the cake would probably feature I photo of me doing something stupid. She had me convinced it was a photo of me in my bikini.... my heart was in my mouth! It wasn't in the end, its just me in a dress doing a stupid pose and looking off into the distance dreamily.... perhaps that's worse? Either way, I knew they'd make me look like a tit.

Am off out to the casino tonight with friends, yey =)

Anyway, I seem to still be in birthday mode because I have a lot to do today but can't seem to be bothered, which is terrible! Even typing this seems like a lot of effort, hence why this entry is short! Lazy cow.

x

Happy Birthday, You Degenerate!

I haven't really told anyone, because I don't like a fuss, but it's my birthday tomorrow. Due to the fact that I'm busy tomorrow, I went for a nice meal with my Mam, Step Dad, Sister and Grandparents. Sounds quite normal, and it was really. But then I got thinking, that if you watch your family closely.... you'll find they're all insane.

My sister (15) is always insane anyway, pretending to be an old rich woman, and I'm her housekeeper, Rebecca. A game I'm sure all siblings our age play.

My Step Dad decided he was too hot, and so removed his jumper. Fair enough. To reveal a very creased, white Nike t shirt which was probably intended for a 12 year old boy, which was also tucked into his trousers and so see through you could see his nipples. To which my mother asked very loudly, "Rach, can you see his deformed nipple where he used to have it pierced? Guess which one it was, go on guess!" Not fair enough.

My Grandad pretty much behaved actually, he probably couldn't get a word in edge ways for my Nana. Although he did have a loud debate with my sister about whether an ornamental tree was real or fake. He decided to lean over and pull it, removing a branch.

Nana was probably the worst, in her usual hilarious way. Lets see, oh yes. She seems to be under the impression that I left University just to be stubborn. I showed her my tattoo on my wrist. She said, "She looks like one of those.... what do you call them? That's it, a degenerate." She then high fived my sister to my sister's request. Oh, and when the bill came, she said I wouldn't be able to have one of the complimentary chocolates "what with you being on a diet and all". I wasn't actually aware that I was on a diet? Well I am now. "Don't worry pet, it's just puppy fat". WHAT IS?! Never mind. I survived and the food was lovely. Although I suppose the final nail in my birthday coffin was when we were walking to the car, as my sister was telling some sort of funny story. She turned to me and said, isn't she funny? She should be the writer in the family. Yes.... thanks Nana. =)

Ha ha, I have to laugh, because I love them all. I'm with my Dad's side of the family tomorrow. Today was nothing compared to what will be inflicted upon me then.

x

This Just In.... I'm a Man

I was in a little bit of a bad mood earlier. I've just found out that my ex boyfriend of three years has come out as gay! Of course I'm hoping this is just some sort of cruel rumour created by my friends. I can't help but look back and think things like.... "well, he did go to the gym a lot, was it to look at men?" and "he was a huge fan of Tom Jones, which is a little... gay". Although I showed a photo to my gay friend, Mark, who says he certainly doesn't *look* gay (there is a gay look, apparently!) so this is a comfort.

I'm just very worried now that I look like a man. I'm having my hair cut and dyed tomorrow, which will make me feel better. I'm also planning on using the sunbeds every week to build a tan. May need some retail therapy too. However, as another friend pointed out, this will not make me look anymore like a girl, just a gay man.... I hate my friends.

Today has been a good day though up until the me feeling like a man part. Spent the day on Newcastle Quayside which was very pretty, relaxing and.... foggy. Was ripped off in a Spanish restaurant where apparently you have to pay for complimentary bread and it's normal to pay £6 for 3 lettuce leaves, or a "salad" as they called it, so that's always fun. I'm thinking I should have ordered a nice bottle of wine to make the experience a little more enjoyable but they would probably charge for the opening of the bottle, the pouring etc....

Anyway, I'm off to scratch my crotch and watch football. (not really)
Ps. Please don't be offended if you are a Tom Jones fan... although it is very gay.

Byebye x